Looking for a match made in heaven—or online? Science says stay grounded. Psychologist Harry Reis knows a thing or two about romance. A leading social psychologist, he was instrumental in launching the field of relationship science. Dating apps or sites are not necessarily better equipped at introducing you to higher-quality candidates than meeting someone in public or through your social circles, says Reis.
But they do give you a lot more options. Where else would you be able to meet two or three dozen people a week? By now, the apps have largely given up on formulating algorithms that claim to match perfect couples. According to a recent report by the Pew Research Center, online dating is much more common among younger generations, with 53 percent of adults under 30 saying they have used dating sites or apps.
One in five adults under 30 say they met their current spouse or partner on a dating site or app, as do about a quarter of partnered lesbian, gay, or bisexual adults. Are marriages that result from online dating any better than other marriages? Reis doubts it, since studies point in both directions. In addition, emerging and changing technologies for dating—virtual reality dating, for example—are outpacing research on the subject.
First, take some of the information in online profiles with a grain of salt , says Reis, who has studied the effectiveness of online dating. Then, connect with as many possible partners and go on as many dates as you can, advises Reis. Make some semi-random choices and see where that takes you.
Keep in mind, too, that similarities matter to an extent but are far from a guarantee for happy relationships. In fact, connecting with someone who has different interests from your own can be a way of growing—something that psychologists explain via the self-expansion model. Instead of looking for a person who likes baseball as much as you do, try being open to something new.
