The first widower I dated introduced me to his wife. She was six feet under. He had been married to Barbara for 40 years and been without her for seven. Time does not heal all wounds, I know. For most of us, though, time numbs the raw agony. Not so for Stan. His desperate, codependent need for caretaking smothered me. I dated three something widowers in 18 months, and I quickly learned that widowers and divorced men are different animals.
Talk to friends? Seek a new partner? That was true of my Widower Number 2, Martin not his real name , who came into my life six months after his wife died. He figured the best way to fix his pain was to replace his wife with another feisty blonde. He was kind, generous and an easy conversationalist. He took me on trips, massaged my back and served me martinis while I luxuriated in bubble baths.
We had clashing opinions on every important issue. Lesson 2 Not even chemistry and cocktails can bridge a vast political divide. Enter Widower Number 3, a university professor who spilled out his theories about widowhood in such detail, I contacted him β not for a date, but for a story.
Dan applied his research skills to his own grief. He read books and sought counseling for the first time in his life.
After all, he was not the same man at 72 that he had been as a groom at He called her an Uber. If you must compare yourself to the dear lost wife, address your insecurities before you date a widower.
