The book has been written for survivors of sexual abuse, but has application for all areas of pastoral theology. The good girl is kind and gentle, very giving, but not especially passionate or outgoing.
She struggles with her sin β not with a healthy conviction, but with deep self-hatred and shame. She then beats herself up for feeling angry and sad β but hates confrontation of any kind, which in turn makes her feel worse. She pours herself into doing things to find identity and approval, but will burn out before asking for help. As a result she can be lonely and depressed, channelling her anger and pain towards herself.
The party girl is completely unpredictable. Out for a good time, her moods change from one moment to the next β from genuine and honest to fake and deceptive, fragile and vulnerable to confident and dominant. She is enchanting and mercurial, but deeply frightened of relationships and handles this by minimising her own needs.
The tough girl sees herself as someone who can take charge and get things done. She views feelings as weakness and refuses to depend on others β often lashing out at them in anger when they awaken her desire for relationship. She can come across as arrogant and busy and she will do whatever it takes to ensure she is never hurt again. As a result she is feared and respected, but rarely liked. I can see bits of myself in all three.
Eating disorders and any number of other addictions provide an ideal outlet for all of these types. This may be reflected not simply in eating patterns, but in other areas such as spending habits, sexual behaviour and frequent risk taking. How do we respond to this? I wonder if all sin is parasitic, in other words it takes something that is good and distorts it. Perhaps the enemy targets those parts of us that the Lord intends for most blessing.
