This is a repost of a famous internet list archived here for posterity. The original post is on Live Journal. You can find it published over on the F r ictionLit website. In this role I ha Last night I heard the Thunder, The herald of the rains to come, The sound ripped the sky asunder, And yet the rains they did not come.
A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook. My monk's lips must be in sync.
Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are. Ogres are not kosher. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero. Drow are not good eating.
Polka is not appropriate marching music. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50, Blue Whales.
