Skip navigation! Story from Dating Advice. Last Updated November 19, , AM. Often during a first date, you're just waiting for a "spark," connection, or literally any sign that justifies you spending your time with this person you barely know. But sometimes a lot of the time that doesn't happen. It might take a few drinks or a handful of first-date questions for you to realize that you're not feeling it, or it might hit you the second you see the person IRL.
And when that happens, how do you get the hell out of there? How to end a first date. They haven't done anything wrong, but you're just not feeling it. In this case, don't be vague, says Kendra Knight , PhD, assistant professor of communication at DePaul University, who studies communication and relationships. Knight says. It can feel easier and kinder to just be vague and let someone down easy, but that often leads to more uncertainty, she says. That said, being honest isn't a license to be unkind.
Research done in the UK from Bumble shows more than half of single people want their potential partner to be honest about their intentions and feelings when dating. Dr Caroline West, Bumble's sex and relationship expert, also thinks honesty is the best policy. Sometimes you might be looking to end a date because red flags are flying. You could try something like, "My roommate is locked out! You might also be calling it a night because your date has offended you, or revealed a severe clash in opinion.
Maybe it was going well up until that point. West says first dates can be awkward and "sometimes things get lost in translation". Be honest about how the comment made you feel and given them a chance to respond, if you want to check it's not a misunderstanding. If their response sucks, then directly say this difference between you is the reason you're ending the date. The chances are they also won't want to date someone with a big compatibility issue. How to know you've given it enough time.
Sometimes you just know a date isn't for you. It's in your gut, and nothing can change it. But at other times, you might not be so sure you've allowed enough time to settle on your decision.
