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What is NSO? Accepting Bids for Connection. Repair After an Argument. The "3 Things You Love" Activity. With new relationships comes a multitude of emotions, feelings, and excitement. You might remember the blissful feeling of what that new relationship is like; where everything feels carefree, communication comes naturally, spending time together is fun and you are getting to know each other.
The complexity of relationships is not typically of concern as you are focused on getting to know and understand each other. The hope is that what remains over time is a similar bond, one filled with intimacy, connection, and shared meaning. However, after arguments, bouts of hardship, and not seeing eye to eye, you may find yourself viewing your partner more negatively.
If this continues consistently overtime, couples may find that they begin to experience what Robert Weiss refers to as Negative Sentiment Override. Negative Sentiment Override, also known as Negative Perspective, is the result of conflict and arguments distorting our view of our partners wherein we perceive any interaction regardless of its intention as negative.
We often do not give our partner the benefit of the doubt and will not attempt to make repairs after an argument. Instead, you might view your partner negatively and make assumptions based off of past experiences. While in Negative Sentiment Override, people tend to bring past frustrations into consideration and fail to see their partner in the present interaction.
You may notice that you are quick to get irritated or annoyed by things your partner says or does, or feel criticized easily. This means that even when times are good and things are going well, you are unable to notice the positive in your relationship. Consider this example.