I read the letter by A Yid yesterday and I said to myself- here we go again. Not inventing the wheel per se, but again pointing a finger. I am personally not comfortable touching on Rabbonim and Rabbeim. Here are some observations born from years of bleeding for my own in this crisis and trying to help others.
The writer mentioned that the severity of crisis fallout is less in the Chassidish world. That is the system! Parental input! And partner investment! Lacking sorely as years go by is the understanding that marriage means assuming responsibility with a partner. Every Moisad needs to incorporate some marital preparation lectures and classes.
We have hundreds of young men looking at 40, who have dated, every type and stripe created by the Aibishter, and read tens of thousands of profiles of the best and brightest Nshei Chayil. Which leads to the next comment, which is: where is accountability for Yeshiva boys that keep accepting profiles and taking girls out?
Who is listening to why they say no? Who is evaluating their criteria and priorities and trying to steer them back onto the more auspicious path? How can a Yeshiva boy even step into a place with much less than tznius clientele patronizing for non-kosher purposes! Low Blow- Yes, when girls hear that two-year dry spells in dating are not uncommon- they become anxious. The metzius is there are thousands of neshamos not being created.
There are bleeding hearts of women who so wish to be married and build a Torahdig home and are stymied. Chassidish method, parents function as parents with the responsibility to do their best for their children.
