By Lisa A. Phillips published January 3, - last reviewed on March 8, Becoming close to another person is one of the most thrilling experiences in the human repertoire, both the bedrock of emotional security and a passport to self-expansion. If the relationship is a romantic oneβand intimacy is as much the essence of deep friendship as of lasting loveβit carries the added charge of desire. Although the term intimacy is often used as a euphemism for sex, anyone with a dear friend knows that physical attraction is not essential for any two people to create a true bond.
Intimacy is what you share with another human being who truly "gets" you. With its inherent expectation of responsiveness, intimacy keeps open a channel for sharing the moments that are too saturated to containβunburdening ourselves when distressed or disappointed, exulting when joys and triumphs swell our hearts.
The antithesis of intimacyβ social isolation βbodes badly for us. Science has long established that the lack of close relationships is as much a risk factor for mortality as smoking.
The wider our social circle, the better our chances of warding off obesity, high blood pressure, and other corrosive conditions. The depth and nature of our ties to one another matter, too: The degree of support people feel they have from family, friends, and significant others counteracts serious health risks. Small wonder the quest for intimacy is everywhere, from earnest online dating profiles to bursts of social media confessionalism meant to elicit a long line of supportive affirmations and emojis.
While such missives may, in the short term, assuage the yearning to connect that most humans harbor, real intimacy can seem elusive in a world where quick text exchanges and apologies for being too busy to get together often supplant real-time, real-space interactions. Intimacy is our emotional slow food, the lovingly home-cooked meal in a world of drive-thru orders.
