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Hookup culture is becoming more and more common. Is this liberation or self-objectification? Where do we draw the line? At the time, that sort of thing was so far off my radar that the whole situation was pretty dismissible. Not even close. The sexual revolution has given the world a lot of good things. I love that birth control exists, that the LGBTQ community is gaining more traction towards equality, and that people can talk about sex more openly in general.
The idea that women can be independent and are no longer reliable on a husband for either financial security or sexual satisfaction has given way to an ever expanding idea of what this new freedom should mean. This has become the new standard for empowerment.
But at what point does a healthy dose of free-spiritedness creep into the realm of self-objectification? The idea of women using their sexuality to gain power is nothing new, and indeed, participating in something like a rainbow party could very well make a young girl feel powerful. After all, she has a roomful of guys in an extremely vulnerable position, a position in which she could do just about anything.
It might feel good to know that she could walk away, and it might feel just as good to satisfy him, knowing that she is the cause. Not all sex is empowering. Say you do participate in one of these parties or hook up casually, or whatever your equivalent is.
It goes well, and you enjoy it. How about the next day? Are you expecting a text or a phone call? Did he even ask for your number in the first place? How about the next time you see that person? Are you expecting him to engage you in conversation? Sayโฆthank you? Ask if you want to do it again sometime? The American Psychological Association looked at exactly these kinds of expectations in a study they did on hookup culture.