Posted by Sandy Weiner in communication skills in dating , dating in midlife , first date success 12 comments. I am a very youthful looking 68 year-old female. I grew up in the fifties and sixties with high values. I did not believe in sex on first, or even second, third or fourth dates. Or is it just me? I understand your concern about men wanting sex on a first date. This is a subject that comes up quite often in my coaching practice. First let me say, there is no right or wrong when it comes to sex early on.
That being said, there are women who want sex on a first, second or third date. They want to be respected and cherished by the men they date. Unfortunately, the men were much more able to have one night stands and not call the next day.
Men release testosterone during sex, which can make him less interested or attracted. Some one night stands turn into long-term relationships and marriage. Men have told me they almost always think about sex on a first date. They may not act upon it or say anything to their date, but they are either attracted and thinking about what it would be like to sleep with her or not. If they are attracted, they will probably want to get sexual pretty quickly.
It makes men MEN. They are simply acting on their attraction, while women often want more of a commitment before sleeping with a man. I believe you need to know who you are, how you attach, and what works for you. If you know what your boundaries are when it comes to sex and physical intimacy, it will be so much easier for you to speak up and let men know, without being harsh or dismissive. Be clear with the men you date about what you want and need to feel safe and connected before having sex.
You want what you want. So, if you like him and are attracted to him, let him know. Then, get clear with him about what works for you. You can use a script like this:. I need to be in an exclusive relationship before sex. But unless they try to force you to have sex with them which is an absolute red flag , they are not bad people.
