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People often feel stressed and let down by online dating. But there are other possible approaches to finding a partner, from singles dinners to dating docs. Dating has never been easy, but it used to have the promise of fun. Lately, many on the frontline report finding it hard to drum up enthusiasm to go for a drink, let alone find love. Another Badoo survey found that millennials spend an average of 90 minutes a day trying to line up a date.
With matches who may not even be real people, opening lines that might have been generated by ChatGPT and conversations that fizzle out as quickly as they start, the appetite for new ways to connect with people for potential romance is high.
But do they work? Last summer, frustrated by how transactional dating apps felt and how half-heartedly everyone including me seemed to be engaging with the process, I decided to host a dinner for single friends and friends of friends: 14 people, welcome cocktails, plentiful food and wine, time to mingle at the start and seat swaps every other person moving two spots to the left between courses to maximise interaction.
A bit chaotic; a lot of fun. There have been some budding romances as a result, but the dinners primarily offer a place to build authentic connection in a social setting, without the intensity of a one-on-one date or the pressure of any specific outcome. The less-than-six-degrees-of-separation between guests gives a layer of accountability missing from internet strangers, too: more humanity to the hook-ups; less ghosting after the dates.
For the practically minded, they are an efficient way to meet multiple people, hitting your dating indicators in one sitting. Typically, these are published on personal websites or via a Google doc link. The prospect of writing up a doc can be daunting — which is why Nathan Young, 29, from London, got his ex to write one for him.