Do you sometimes secretly wonder if your real problem is that you have a fear of intimacy? Learn surprising signs that mean you might be right. It can help to understand what intimacy even really is.
Intimacy is mistakenly thought to just be about romance or sex. Intimacy means letting yourself be closely known, even as you make an effort to deeply know and experience others. But what about the less obvious signs? See if the following sound familiar. Always busy, your life full to the maximum? If you do have down time, do you immediately think of what you can do to fill it? Or are you known as a workaholic? Being constantly busy all the time means you can avoid taking such a risk.
And you have the perfect excuse to to avoid anyone wanting to get too close⦠you are busy! Sure, we can bump chests and high five over group wins. But we form longlasting bonds when we see each other vulnerable , and have a chance to share empathy. So always being forcefully upbeat is often a tactic to hide parts of ourselves and avoid deep connection. By: The Library of Congress. Are you always listening to others talk about their wants and needs?
If they try to ask about you, do you change the conversation back so that they are the subject again? But deep down, you are left feeling terribly lonely. The more perfect you appear externally, the less others can see that you are human and weak just like they are, and the less they will dare get close.
Your perfectionism acts as a way to intimidate others. Of course, as an intimacy phobic person, even if you did stumble across your ideal partner, you would create a flaw so you could push them away. Do you secretly have no idea how to be your real self? The girl next door, the siren, the secretly intelligent woman. The real truth was that she was lonely, and felt that nobody knew her.
