Sherryl Cheong. But when an interview by Durex and Coffee Meets Bagel came on before the video I queued, I let the ad continue playing. Sex can be a difficult topic to broach, especially with someone new, as it usually involves disclosing aspects of ourselves that may leave us feeling vulnerable.
According to the World Values Survey , Our national sex education places an overriding emphasis on abstinence , in hopes of guiding our youth away from the temptations of the flesh. The prevalent cultural discourses β through our media, schools, government, and other institutions β indubitably influence how we think about and experience sex. As such, talking about the erotic realm can be difficult for daters in Singapore, where the cultural prohibitions against pre-marital and casual sex may cause them to grapple with shame, anxiety, or fear.
Instead, this kind of anxious atmosphere breeds guilt and shame in its more extreme version, or a generalized discomfort in its more ubiquitous expression. Normalizing conversations sure is a step towards reframing how we perceive sex and sexuality in Singapore, which was what I appreciated about the Durex x Coffee Meets Bagel video. The short clip contained many insightful responses, hilarious quips, and nuggets of wisdom. I asked them to share their thoughts on talking about sex with their dates β if it was normal to do so, the average number of dates they go on before broaching the topic, a memorable anecdote, and if they benefited from those conversations.
Here are their illuminating responses, which were lightly edited for clarity. On average, I go on maybe two dates before broaching sex. As someone who feels that talking candidly about sex is important in any relationship, broaching the subject definitely helps me get to know my date better. It often surfaces naturally, when the topic of exes or kinks comes up.
It takes about two to three dates before we start talking about sex and probably four to five dates before we have sex, for a bit of time is needed to build sexual tension. Talking about it definitely helps the process and helps to put everyone at greater ease. Devi : At the very beginning of my dating journey, talking about sex was not normal to me. But I think after being on dating apps for a few weeks, I started getting accustomed to the fact that sex was a very common topic.
