When I work with men that struggle with sexual addiction , I communicate in the first session my belief that the real issue is not the need for more sex but rather the need for attachment. The counterfeit attachment avoids the pain of rejection, abandonment, criticism, and other painful aspects that come from real people relationships.
Attachment theory explains that children raised in homes that provided a secure attachment feel confident that others will be available to meet their needs. These children use their parents as a safe base to explore the world and seek others to connect with in times of distress. These securely attached children are easily soothed by others when upset. These children develop a secure attachment when the parents are sensitive to his signals and respond appropriately to his needs.
Sex Addicts often develop an insecure avoidant attachment because to attach as children meant disappointment, abandonment, inconsistency, abuse, neglect or shaming. I have to do it myself.
The caregivers may withdraw from providing assistance during difficult tasks and are often unavailable when the child experiences emotional discomfort. The result can be avoiding attachment or finding a partner that he can cling to as a replacement for the hole in his childhood. Recovery sex addiction groups provide the place for the man struggling with sexual addiction to fill the void left by his childhood.
Group members create a fellowship that accepts the Sex Addict, allows his to share his story, fully known and yet not rejected or abandoned. Sexual Addiction Attachment Wounds When I work with men that struggle with sexual addiction , I communicate in the first session my belief that the real issue is not the need for more sex but rather the need for attachment.
