All products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission. Nan column and in my book Why Good Sex Matters. In other countries where cultural attitudes about sex are more negative, rates are significantly higher. Including better sleep, better hair, and a better mood. You may be able to orgasm during certain circumstancesβfor example, when masturbating alone but not when your partner is present, or not during sexual intercourse.
So what can you do about it? Males appear to have an easier time discovering how to masturbate to orgasm than females. This may be in part due to biologyβan erect penis is hard to ignoreβin combination with a culture that more readily accepts male masturbation as the norm.
The solution: If anorgasmia is persistent, masturbate. And while you are doing that, Kegel, Kegel, Kegel. Kegel practice can be the single most powerful tool in ramping up the female orgasm machinery.
Our culture bombards us with conflicting and creepy messages about our sexuality: You should have a perfect body. You should be a sex object. Learning plays a big role in our sexual dysfunctions. No matter how sophisticated or sex positive the attitudes and beliefs at the top of your mind are, old sex-negative messages and experiences can trigger defenses and prevent us from letting go into the experience. Beyond cultural programming, sexual abuse or traumatic experiences related to our sexuality can shut down our ability to relax into sensations and feel comfortable with and entitled to having sexual pleasure.
For example, a client of mine struggled with the ability to orgasm for years that stemmed from something that happened when she was a kid. While taking a bath, her mom walked in and saw her touching her genitals when the soap slipped between her legs and yelled in an uncharacteristically harsh way.
